No More Kissing Babies!

We went to an event with all our rescue friends last weekend.  There were lots of cute babies of all sizes and degree of sweetness (none of them was less than perfectly sweet!).  I held them all and smooched on them without regard to my own health.  That was Saturday.  By Sunday night I had a scratchy throat.  By Monday night my throat was raw, swollen and yellowish-white.  I was up and down all night last night, just too miserable to sleep.  This morning we awoke to another thunderstorm, lights and alarm system flickering off then on, and Zoe absolutely petrified by it all.  So much for trying to rest and heal!  Even Bandit screamed at one point during a very loud thunder-boomer, and I’ve never heard Bandit scream in his life!  He wanted to be let out of his crate NOW and almost ran me over when I opened the door.  Of course, none of them wanted to go out in the downpour to pee so no throw-rug was safe.  I told Ronnie tonight I absolutely refuse to kiss any more babies the rest of my life.  I feel awful!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I took Gypsy to the vet for a pre-dental exam and blood work.  She enjoyed the trip but didn’t care much for having to sit in the doggie seat the entire way to Friendswood and back.  She stared knives at me the whole way.  Here she is on the way home wondering how damned long it’ll be before she can get home and get out of the car!

Gypsy: "Let me outta here!"

Gypsy: “Let me outta here!”

I also took Fancy to Starbucks for her puppy whip before I loaded Gypsy to go to the vet.  Fancy loves to go anywhere, anyhow, anytime, and stay as long as we want.  She never makes a sound and looks very interested in everything and everyone around her.  It’s like she’s watching a particularly exciting movie and is afraid she’ll miss something.

Fancy licking her lips with whipped cream on her chin

Fancy licking her lips with whipped cream on her chin

Today they all stayed home high and dry while I ventured out to the nail salon for some pampering, then some shopping.  Even though I felt bad it helped to just get a little bit of time to myself.  I didn’t accomplish a whole lot today but I got most of the laundry done when I got home and got part of the sewing supplies I’ll be needing this week to make purses.  I’ll probably go tomorrow and get the rest of the supplies.  I’m going to make at least 4 and maybe more with 2 different patterns.  I’ll post if I succeed, otherwise this will be the last you’ll hear of my purse-making.  LOL  I’ve made several so it’s not a big deal, just time-consuming and I have to be in the mood to do it.  Since I’m making purses for myself, too, maybe that’ll help motivate me.

Well, the old clock on the wall says that if I don’t go to bed I’m going to fall out of my chair.  It seems one of the sleeping pills is actually going to work.  Yay!  Good night!

Hunting Dog

We’ve thought all along of Bandit as a herding breed, but this Spring I’ve changed my mind…he is definitely a hunter.  He doesn’t run down elephants, rhinos or even deer, but he’s hell on the lizard population!  Today he brought in two recently deceased trophies, one I picked up off the couch with a paper towel, the other has yet to be seen post-battle.  I saw the combat right outside Bandit’s crate but couldn’t get him to give it up; I’m sure I’ll find the corpse when I pull his blankets out to be washed.  I hope I remember…otherwise the entire world will hear my scream when he falls on the top of my bare foot!

Bandit

Bandit

Bandit is such a good, beautiful dog.  This year he will be 5 years old; he has the shortest expected lifespan of our pack (10 years) and when that time comes he will be a true loss to the entire Lindsey family.  He has been a friend, a big brother, a protector, a confidante, playmate and snuggle-bunny for each dog that has come through our doors.  He’s loved them all and allowed the puppies to crawl all over him, bite him, abuse him and even lick the inside of his mouth (ewwwwwwwww!).  How could that not be love???  And he minds great, is attentive and a lot of company for us.  He always is ready for anything, or for nothing—our choice.  We’re so fortunate to have Bandit in our family.  We love ya, big boy!

Today I had one of those little girl snits!  I ran errands yesterday until 3:30 PM, bought groceries and fixed dinner.  Today I had a doctor’s appointment, Thursday and Friday also booked, then an event on Saturday.  When I got up today I was dreading driving 30 miles to see the podiatrist.  Then I just (mentally) put my hands on my hips, stomped my foot, and said to the universe, “No!”.  I thought then that I’d just spend the day in my nightgown and be damned if I cared if anything was accomplished today, but then I decided that I and the house smelled too bad for that scenario.  I soaked in the tub, took Fancypants to Starbucks and then came home and started laundry, got the bed linens changed, rugs washed, and still spent about 1 1/2 hours watching some sewing videos.  It was an excellent day!  And I rescheduled those appointments with no one caring one way or another.  I’ve got to start going easier on myself; I’m making retirement seem like way too much of a job!

Done-Not Done

Got Fancy to grooming and she’s feeling spiffy and pretty again.  Didn’t go to the podiatrist; changed it to next week but went to the optometrist instead.  I’ll finally have glasses I might be able to see through again in a couple of weeks (looking forward to that!).  Had cardiac echo Wednesday, waiting on the next 2 tests then we’ll be through with that for the year again.

Got into the sewing room the first of the week and embroidered 2 blankets to donate.  Only 16 more to do before the next project starts.  I got all the leashes and collars, etc., delivered to Friendswood and picked up Jolie’s medication.  At least my health is holding again so I should be able to keep up with it all again.  I’ll have to get my blood work done once more in order to stabilize my medication where it is now.  I’ll try to get in for that next week, too.  Knocking out the extra stuff bit by bit.  Princess goes to the vet Monday, so that’ll be another thing completed on my doggie medical list for 2015.  I’ll have 3 of them to get in for dentals, then Zoe, Daisy and Fancy for shots; then we’re through for the year.  Yay!  Next week I should be able to start getting estimates to replace our entire AC system.  Dreading the cost but it’s got to be done before it gets hot again, which is in the offing right now—It was 82 in Houston today already and it’s barely April!  It’s always something, isn’t it?

Plan is to make a few blankets every day so I don’t get overwhelmed knowing I have 18 blankets to deliver all at once.  Since 2 are complete and packed in individual bags already I’ll try to get a couple more done tomorrow after I get through with errands.  Got some laundry to do, etc., but nothing too terribly important that I can’t get in the sewing room for a few hours.  Hope fully I’ll sleep better tonight and will be more productive tomorrow.  My eyes are still somewhat dilated from the doctor’s office today.  I didn’t think it was supposed to last this long, but I’m not staying up much longer anyway.  They’ll be in full working order by the time I wake up in the morning.

Good night, loved ones!

Quiet Time

Harnesses

Harnesses

It’s been a fairly pleasant day after a rude awakening this morning.  I enjoy sleeping as long as I can on the mornings that Ronnie is off work because I know he is caring for the dogs and I can take the time for myself, but this morning the dogs were loud way too early and then the pressure washer roared to life on the patio outside my window.  Needless to say, I didn’t get up in a good mood!  Still in my nightgown, I stomped into my kitchen to complain about the noise factor.  Out on my patio in the bright sunlight stood a neighbor who was helping Ronnie get started.  Oops!  Thankfully he never looked up and saw me; I hurried back to my bedroom and dressed.  Then I grabbed up Fancypants and took her for a coffee run to Starbucks.  By the time we got home the bad mood was over and the day had begun.

I didn’t accomplish much today: a bit of laundry and pick-up in the house but I cleaned both fish tanks before Ronnie took me to eat dinner, then watched some Amazon Video before giving up for the night.  There’s not anything worth watching on TV right now due to the religious crap on for Easter–even on The Weather Channel!!!  It’s on every station so we just gave up and went to Amazon.  There hasn’t even been anything to record for watching later; hopefully that will change tomorrow when the new week rolls around.

When we got home from dinner, Ronnie took the dogs for a walk (a few at a time) so they’re all happy and sleeping contentedly at this point.  I wanted to get in the sewing room but things didn’t work out for me to sew today—too many interruptions and too many times I had to wait before finishing a task.  I’ve been working on some leashes and dog collars to donate, and we bought some more pre-made ones at Wal-Mart yesterday that I can embellish for sale, too.  I’ll be dropping off some things this week because Jolie is running low on medications and I’ll have to run over to the vet to pick them up anyway.  So I’ll get some stuff done tomorrow and Tuesday, then pack it up for a run.  No problem!  I did pack up the little sewing machine back into its bag and I’m using nothing but the Ellisimo now.  It’ll be interesting to see how it works on these new leashes since I did the previous ones on the small machine.  The smaller one, the Elizabeth model, has a lot of decorative stitches but the Ellisimo was the top of the line model when I bought it 2 1/2 years ago (there’s a newer one out now for $15,000…….NOT!) and has even more stitch capabilities.  So it should be fun trying out things I’ve never played with on the big machine.

This week I have a cardiac ultrasound and an appointment with the podiatrist (hopefully he’ll release me now).  Fancypants gets her grooming done and I’ll go visit my mom one day.  Then, of course, I’ll make a trip to the vet one day, too.  All-in-all not very ambitious, and, as I always say, hopefully I’ll be able to get in the sewing room and get some projects completed.  LOL

 

No Preference

I didn’t know what to call this post, just felt like posting before I shuffle off to bed.  Tomorrow is my cardiologist appointment and hair appointment afterward.  Today the pest control folks did our quarterly treatment.  I took Fancy to Starbucks, did some laundry, made a cake for Ronnie to take to work and did some sewing.  I cleaned up the sewing room a bit, reorganized what I’d been dumping in there (things I’d bought and just set down for “later”), then worked on a couple of blouses I wanted to restyle.  One had a floppy facing around the neck that I stitched down with a fancy design then cut the excess away.  It was an old blouse I’ve had about 5 years but still comfy; the facing just aggravated me every time I wore it.  It won’t again because I cut the danged thing out today.  The other blouse is a newer one I’d only worn once and decided it was too loose in the neckline and every time I’d bend I’d show my underthings to the world.  So I put in a modesty panel.  Voila!  Don’t have to worry about that one either.  I have another couple of those to fix and a zipper to replace in a sweater (Diego ate a chunk out of the original plastic zipper).  I looked at the design of the zipper in the sweater and decided I didn’t have the energy or desire to rip the damned thing out today, so I took a break instead.  I did get the fabric remnants I’d bought all washed up and folded so they can be put to use.

It felt good to be back in the sewing room again; lately all I’ve managed is some mending.  Today at least I got to do some creative things even if I didn’t get any of the blankets done.  I still have the entire stack to embroider/applique but have been so preoccupied with the computers lately that none have gotten done.  I did manage to get fabric stuck in the little sewing machine 3 times and had to cut the material out to get it out of the machine.  I managed to stick myself in one finger and one thumb with sewing machine needles and had to take the machine apart twice due to the issue.  I think I have done a dis-service to the little machine by doing the dog collars and leashes on it a couple of weeks ago.  The newer machines have plastic gears inside and I now have a thump going on in there that I don’t remember having before.  I told Ronnie tonight I was going to start sewing on the big machine instead of the small one.  I bought the small one (Babylock Elizabeth) to take to classes because it was lighter to transport (my big machine weighs over 40 pounds!), but usually leave it on the small sewing table to have something to do quick jobs.  When I sew on the Babylock Ellisimo I have to change out the presser foot and shank, needle, and rethread in sewing thread every time.  No more than I actually sew, I don’t do the switch; it’s too easy just to use the machine that’s out.  Then, all I have to do is to rethread (occasionally change the needle) and sew.  Sometimes I’m so lazy!

On the good side, all the computers are currently loaded and functioning as planned.  I have my good laptop on Windows 7 Professional, the little laptop on Windows 8.1, and this desktop dual-booting Windows 7 and Windows 10 TP.  All the drivers and software is loaded and working for the first time since January.  That’s when the desktop computer started shutting down randomly.  No more, thankfully.  It cost a total of $700 to fix it and to replace the parts I’d already done before it went to the shop.  I had reloaded all our PCs (Ronnie’s laptop, too) when I had my foot surgery in January so maybe I won’t have to do anything major on them for a while.

I’ve almost caught up on the dog vetting (one more on Friday, then free until June) and now that the computers are running, maybe I’ll manage to get those blankets done.  We got Jolie’s lab results back (some better/some worse but she’s doing better than she has for a while); Doc says to just keep on doing what we’re doing.  She’s lost 3 pounds and acts like a puppy at times.  She wags her tail so big that it just might cause her to lose her balance; this is a first for her to be this energetic and happy.  I used to check on her throughout the day to make sure she was still breathing.  When I come home she now greets me at the door like the other dogs and demands attention.  She climbed up in my lap the other day and pawed me to get my attention; Jolie never asks for attention…never ever.  So this is a red-letter event for her.  Now if we could just get a home for Daisy!!!!!!!!!  Still no leads unfortunately.  I hope the wait is because we’re going to find just the right place for her at last.  Fingers crossed!

Zo-Zo

Today was a Red Letter Day for Miss Zoe.  She turned 2 in January and has always been the tiniest creature in the house.  All the 2-legged and 4-legged family treat her with kid gloves, cater to her, groom her, carry her, play when she wants to play, snuggle her, love on her, cuddle her, etc.  She is our little princess, baby, sweetheart and precious one.  Since she’s always been the special one, she’s always been treated in a special way.

Zoe came to us with her sister, Keira, 2 years ago from Houston.  Zoe weighed just .8 pounds when we first saw her.  She had an infected eye, respiratory issues and sick skin; we just hoped we’d get her to the vet in time.  We got her Sunday morning; she was at the vet Monday.  She is/was somewhat deformed but you have to really look to see it.  Her eyes aren’t even and one is smaller than the other.  Her back legs are very crooked and her stance is timid and a little shaky.  But the most noticeable part is that her mental state is altered.  She’s always been “backward” or “slow” compared to other canines.  She developed very slowly and has taken 2 entire years to get to where most puppies are at about 8 weeks.  She’s just now learning to play.  She doesn’t bark; she screeches.  She’s very shy until she gets her feet on the ground and then she just explodes in happiness and excitement (which is normal).  But she does this to extreme.  At first we were afraid she’d die but after treating an eye infection, skin infection, and mange, we thought maybe everything would be okay for her.  Keira got adopted but before she left I had to separate them in their crates because she would beat up on Zoe all the time and Zoe would cower in the corner in terror.  Not in my house!  So these 2 tiny white girls went into completely different crates while they gained enough strength and size to get out into the real pack.  I was happy when Keira got adopted because my tiny Zoe could finally have freedom from her sister’s abuse.

Zoe Snoring

Zoe Snoring

And Zoe has blossomed even if it has been at a snail’s pace.  Of course, after a few months of getting her and getting Keira adopted, Zoe began to put on a little bit of weight.  She wasn’t quite so frail and not so frightened of everything around her.  All the dogs deferred to her.  Fancy and Mimi groom her and keep her spic and span.  Bandit is the best, most-protective big brother any tiny girl could ask for, and she is welcome in his big crate any time.  One of the first things she learned (on her own, I might add) was when we commanded, “Crates!”, she would immediately run into Bandit’s crate with him, turn, sit and watch for the next command.  It was soooooooo cute!!

But she still never barked or made any sound except a fearful cry occasionally.  She shivered a lot (more than Chihuahuas normally do) and didn’t act in any way as boisterous as most of our pack.  She would go along with them in a passive manner but not really have her whole heart into it.  Then, Diego came into our lives.  Diego is a spitfire.  He never meets a stranger, will play with any dog or human no matter what size, weight or how loud they are.  He doesn’t know the word “intimidation”.  He loves to chase a ball, play-fight and bite your fingers until you cry Uncle, run (and run and run…), bark at the dogs next door (on both sides) and run the fences, explore the neighborhood if you’re so careless to let him out the front door, and play-bite on Bandit while he balances on his little hind legs or any other way he can play with Bandit (Bandit is the pack’s “toy” and loves every minute of it).  Diego weighs barely 5 pounds and all of them are packed with dynamite, but the most awesome thing that Diego has done in the past year is to bring Zoe to life.

Diego standing on the drain board

Diego standing on the drain board

At first, Diego’s rambunctiousness was a little frightening; we didn’t know if he was mean or just playful.  Thankfully it was pure happy play and he would try to get Zoe to play with him but she would plant her feet and wait for him to tire of taunting her and then she’d find a crate and hibernate.  Of course, it never slowed Diego down; he’d just find someone else who’d play and he’d be off and running again.  But, after time, Zoe began to understand that Diego wasn’t trying to hurt her like her sister had; he just wanted to be her friend and wanted her to play back.  She began to run the fence with him and really enjoy the outdoors.

Then came the day when Zoe found her voice!  She doesn’t bark.  She doesn’t growl.  She screeches at the top of her lungs; no other volume is good enough for our girl.  She has become the “Lindsey household alarm system”; we don’t need ADT anymore!  When Zoe hears anything whether it’s someone at the door, a bird fluttering in the backyard, one of the neighborhood dogs barking, the mailman, the doorbell or a knock, or any other tiny sound, she lets go a delightfully ear-splitting screech in Zoe-volume that will just about shatter glass.  She has learned to get up and down most of the Chihuahua-oriented steps (to gain access to the couch and loveseat) and just this week is learning to get all the way to the top of the stairway to the ottoman in the office, which is 3 1/2 steps, without help and without begging to be picked up in a pathetically sad cry that is loud enough to wake Ronnie at night.

Since I’ve begun to feel better lately I have also begun to take individual dogs for a ride in the car again.  Most of them have been to the vet for their annual visits and some, mostly the older dogs, go regularly to Sonic or Starbucks, or maybe to the pet store.  Today Ronnie went back to work after his weekend off and it was back to errands and chores for me.  I went to a couple of places, came home and started some Spring cleaning then took some clothing for donating to the car to drop off.

Last year we bought a canine auto booster seat which fits securely on the passenger seat of the car and allows the little dogs to sit and look out the window during our travels.  There is a clasp inside the seat that attaches to the dog’s harness so there are no accidental attempts to escape that may injure them and result in an automobile accident when I tried to save them.  We’d been talking about getting Zoe out for a ride since it’d been a while since we’d tried with her.  Her former reaction was extreme fear and we had to hold her the entire outing.  Today was different.  I put on her tiny pink harness which is the same one she’s worn her whole life; I didn’t even have to let out the straps….she’s still small enough to fit it perfectly.  I attached a pink leash to her pink harness and off to the car we went.  I placed her in the booster seat and started the car, watching her from the corner of my eye the whole time so I could catch her when she jumped back out (I totally expected her to panic).  Her reaction?  She sat down and looked at me.  I smiled at her, said nothing and drove away from the house.  By the time we got to the nearest red light Zoe was laying down in the booster seat not frightened, not shivering, not begging to be let out or to be held.  When she’d notice me looking at her she’d crane her neck and look at me with a puzzled look on her face.  If I spoke to her she’d make a squeak back but was just fine to sit in her seat.  We traveled about 5 miles from home and I stopped at the donation box and opened my door.  Then she squealed in alarm and got really tall in the seat.  I told her I’d be right back and she sat down and watched.  I got back in the car and drove away.  Zoe was fine.  I took her to Sonic and ordered her a child’s size cheeseburger and fed her the meat off of it.  She ate every bit and a few specks of the cheese.  I rolled her window down and her eyes got big.  She found the sounds and smells of the drive-in.  She loooooooked and loooooooked, put her little head back and her nose in the air and smellllllled all the smells…just like every dog in the world would!

I was so proud of her!  She’s become a little dog, not a little “special” dog, but a little sweet dog all of her own.  I don’t know if she will always have this reaction to rides in the future but I do know there will be lots more rides in her future!

And just of late she has started playing.  She will bite at my fingers like Diego does and has learned to run and jump at Diego and then run away.  He chases her back and the game is on!  She makes little happy sounds and does her squealing sound which has become quite the ordinary background noise in our house now.  The other dogs may bark or even howl but they don’t fault Zoe on her own special sound.  She is fine by them any way she wants…and fine by us, too.

 

Time Change

Tonight we turn our clocks ahead an hour, so we put that hour in the bank and take it back on November 1st.  When you don’t work, it’s not a deal breaker: in the morning I’ll set the clock in the living room, microwave and oven; done!  I can’t believe how upset we used to get over something so trivial on our level.  To shift workers it was a big deal.  Some people worked 11 hours, some 13, depending if we were turning back or forward.  There was no equity; you just worked whatever was required of you and then complained when supervision didn’t pay you correctly.  If you had children at home you had to arrange child care, transportation, etc.  At least by making the change on a Saturday night/Sunday morning it doesn’t affect the traffic, etc., for workers on Monday morning.  What a big deal for no reasonable purpose!

I’m still working on medication changes.  I have worked myself off of several, most of the ones that caused side effects and made me feel bad most of the time.  I didn’t bargain for the doctor getting on the boat and making her changes, too.  So I’ve gone through some lows while working those down and now back up with different meds.  I’m feeling better with the last increase but still not quite “with it”.  I have some good days at least now.  I haven’t had any “sleep sitting up in my nightgown all day” lows in the past week, so I guess that’s a start.  I’m not sewing either, so I’m not up to where I want to be.  I have managed to “manage” everything else lately.  The bills are paid, the pets are cared for, errands done, the housekeeper’s been in and has done her miracles, etc.  Still not cooking much, but I never did (I hate to cook!)   This week I only have one dog scheduled for the vet so I hope I see some positives for myself this week.  My next doctor visit is with the cardiologist since I’m still having erratic heartbeats.  I wore a 24-hour halter monitor for a check and they’re still there so I’m going in for a recheck, then a last visit to the podiatrist and he’ll release me (Yay!!!!!!!!!).

I have my desktop computer back in the shop; second time in 8 days for the same thing.  The shop couldn’t make it fail.  Brought it home last Friday and it failed after an hour.  Changed out hard drive, video card, RAM memory, keyboards, mice, serge protectors, power cords, power outlets.  Bought a desk fan and blew it inside the open case for hours.  Still shutting down.  Not showing to be running hot on any software I have, no way I have to check the voltage so back to the shop it went yesterday.  I’ve reloaded the system 3 times so it’s not the OS either.  Usually hard to stump me and the shop I use but we’re scratching our heads over this one.  We’re down to it being either the power supply, CPU or motherboard.  I’m hoping it’s the cheapest one!

I’m in the process of putting Windows 10 Technical Preview on my good laptop; I think it’s stable enough at this point to give it a shot.  I have the recovery disks in case I have to reload it.  It’s up and running now (I’m on it) with no issues so far.  I have this laptop, a desktop, and a smaller laptop to “play” with that I try out software on, etc.  But this is the first time I’ve tried to put 10 on this laptop.  I had it on the desktop both as primary OS and dual-booting with Windows 7.  It worked perfectly with no issues until the desktop started its issues.  It’s time-consuming to use more than one computer in order to test another OS, so I’m trying to run them side-by-side on one.  Unfortunately the partitioning on this computer is AFU and I can’t run it the way I want to without reformatting the HDD.  So I backed this laptop up (I do that several times per month anyway) and went for it.  I hope I don’t regret it.  Tomorrow I may be reloading Windows 7 Professional.  LOL  What-the-hell?  Worth a try anyway.

 

Enjoying My Retirement

Tonight I spent a few minutes going back over my blog entries for the past 2 1/2 years that I’ve been retired.  In so many ways nothing has changed in that length of time.  I’m still doing the same things, thinking a lot of the same thoughts, still interested in the same things, happily married and at peace with my life.  But I realized that the things that really make me who I am are changing over time.  My mother said it best a few months after I retired; she said I looked so much more relaxed now.   And she’s right, but that relaxation she sees on my face has fact in my body and my soul.  I feel like I’ve gotten to the best place I’ve ever been in my life.  I’m happy, truly happy with who I am, what I have, what I do with what I have, how I treat others (2 and 4-legged ones) and how I treat myself.

It seems that most of my life I’ve spent working for some goal that I never really defined; it changed over time depending on what was going on in the rest of my life.  I allowed myself to be buffeted by others, by my employment, by my own emotions and the gyrations of others’ emotions in my immediate vicinity.  Now, of course, I wonder why I allowed it.  No real answer, I suppose, except that I was naïve, stupid in the way of the world, and I never really understood that it was “MY” life, that no one else had a right to abuse that life I lived.  I could sit here and mourn the losses in my life (and there have been many, unfortunately), but I choose not to see the glass as half empty.  Therein lies one of my greatest character traits.  I am a cockeyed optimist.  LOL  I always play the Devil’s Advocate in any conversation but I really do feel the positive much more than the negative.  I do look at the brighter side in most things.

On Facebook, on a daily basis it seems, there are postings of dire events, some which touch my heart; some things make me cry, especially the abused animals and the abused children.  Some times I have to turn away from the really awful stories because I’ve already seen too much and have cried too many tears.  I choose not to get mired in the crap now, to not let the negatives get to me.  Maybe it’s because I know these years I’m living now will be all that are allotted to me, I want them to be good years, happy years of peace.  Younger days are for protests, fighting, hunger, strife, arguments, and losses when the energy is high and the stakes seem few.  I’ve tired of the days fighting to survive either physically or emotionally.  What did it get me?

Well, it got me a good job, an education, a nice home, nice cars, etc.  It got me self-esteem for the person I’ve become through my trial-by-fire.  It’s got me a decent pension to retire on, a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what, freedom from want, warm, fed, dry and happy.  So much but of such simple means.  Was this all that I needed to make me happy, truly at peace inside?  I don’t think so.

What makes me happy is not the “things” I have, not the possessions I’ve accumulated.  It’s partly how far I’ve come in no measurable way from who I was once.  How far I’ve come from the damaged times to the happy times.  It’s the “me” I am that I celebrate these days.  I could have let life beat me on so many occasions but I never gave up.  It may have cost me dearly to never give up and never give in, but I’m reaping the benefits now.  No one except myself will ever truly know the battles I’ve fought, the ones I won and the ones I lost.  No one will ever know how much of myself I had to donate to the cause in order to survive; not just survive but to triumph over so much.

And now I have no battle to fight.  Thankfully.  The only bogie man in my life now is my own self.  i.e. I want to sew but I don’t because I put other things ahead of my desires sometimes….not too big of a trial, huh?  LOL  At this point in my retirement (life) my biggest losses are the days when I don’t stand up to my own self and say, “No!  Today I am going to do what I want to do, not what I need to do!”.  There is no one telling me anything negative now; I’m not at anyone’s beck and call; I have no boss except myself, so no one else to blame except myself.  If this is all I have to worry about……wait.  Maybe that’s why I look so rested, so peaceful now.  I no longer have to fight the dragon, and it feels pretty damned good!

Dropping The Ball

I have 15 pieces of fabric bought and washed to make blankets for donating to the rescue.  I have done none of them.  I wish I could add some time to my days!  It seems I have enough time (and energy) to do just what it takes to survive and to keep a path cleared through the house but no more.  The doctor is still working on my medications so I’m chalking this lethargy to the meds.  She just added one that perks me up a bit but it’s not nearly enough; hopefully I’ll be able to stabilize and get back my get-up-and-go.  I have found that lately I’m reading more about sewing than actually spending time doing sewing (embroidery for me).  I’m unsubscribing from some of my e-lists so I’ll have more time for the “doing” part.  I’m also working on a special project for a baby shower but it’s still hush-hush.  I still have that fabric in a bag to be washed.

Tomorrow Bandit goes to the vet for his yearly checkup, then the week after it’ll be Dusty and Diego for theirs.  Hopefully nothing else is found and they’ll all check out okay.  We’re not seeing any issue with them so fingers crossed the doctor won’t either.  Today while Ronnie was working in the backyard (he’s building me a thread rack like one I saw online the other day), Bandit came out of the shed with a dead rat.  Of course, I went bananas; Ronnie didn’t even see it until I hollered to him.  He took it away from Bandit then threw it over the back fence.  Ronnie said it was newly dead so evidently Bandit was the executioner.  Ewwwwwwwwwww!  I’ve never known Bandit to kill any living creature; I don’t know what the rat said to Bandit to piss him off.

Today I awoke at noon…..I slept 11 1/2 hours!!!!!!!!!  I was surprised when I found out what time it was but happy that I finally caught up on my rest some.  On the weekends Ronnie keeps the dogs quiet so I can sleep in a bit but I don’t usually sleep this late unless I’ve been up all night…and I went to bed at 12:30 last night.  Wow!  Since I was doing laundry this weekend I started in finishing up from yesterday which entailed emptying the dog crates and washing all their blankets.  Then I changed the water in both fish tanks so they’re happier now, too.  Usually one day a week this is my routine for the animals: doing their laundry and changing out water in both fish tanks.  I just turn on the TV and leave it running for a distraction while I’m working.  Today they were showing Ken Burns’ “Civil War” and I watched most of it.  I had bookmarked that series on Netflix but had never gotten around to watching it.  Now I have.  I like Ken Burns’ historical series.  I love seeing actual photographs of historical events and hearing stories from the people who lived through those times.  I still have his “Jazz”,  “The West”, and the second half of “Auschwitz” to watch.  I saw “Prohibition”, “Lewis & Clark”, “Huey Long”, “The Dust Bowl”, “The War”,  and “The Roosevelts” which were excellent, too.  I’m usually not able to sit still long enough to watch an entire series; today was an exception and I’ll probably dream about the Civil War and Lincoln tonight.  LOL

 

 

 

Unstitched

Last week I finally got the stitches removed from my poor foot.  While I was waiting to heal, that ugly black boot rubbed a hole in the bottom of my foot…at that point the boot was retired to the closet for good.  Enough!  I’m doing well, still a bit of a limp but coming around, I’d say.  I go back to the podiatrist again next week to pick up my orthotics and that should be that.

Still doing the “dog” thing.  Took Mimi in today for her yearly vaccinations and checkup.  Today was the first time Mimi has made a trip while sitting in the doggie basket you see in the picture below of Pepper, my mom’s Chihuahua.  She panicked at first and just wanted “OUT!!!”.  Finally got her calmed down and made my position known–that she was to stay in the doggie booster seat ALL the way.  She then quieted down and made it the entire 30 minute ride to the vet.  Once her appointment was over I took her to Sonic for a puppy-reward cheeseburger.  Once she got to eat her cheeseburger she conked out for a short nap in her booster seat; she decided it wasn’t as bad as she’d thought.  Tonight she had a love fest with me on the couch.  She licked me until my skin just about started peeling off.  I think she was grateful for the special attention she got today on her dreaded trip to the vet; it definitely wasn’t a negative experience.  Pepper goes back Tuesday for his post-heartworm treatment checkup, then Bandit goes before the end of the month for his annual check.  I think we have 4 in March, 1 in April, 1 in July and the last in August.  I need to take up a different hobby!

Pepper on the way to his heartworm treatments

Pepper on the way to his heartworm treatments

Speaking of hobbies, I did get all 11 of the doggie blankets completed, 9 sold and 2 gifted.  Hope to get started on the next batch (this time appliqued owls instead of appliqued puppies) tomorrow.

First 6 of the appliqued puppy blankets

First 6 of the appliqued puppy blankets

Ronnie is going to visit family overnight so I’ll be on my own to do laundry and sew and pamper canine babies during both.  I had another laptop brought in tonight which I’m working on right now; otherwise I’m caught up on the computers for a bit.  This is the first Windows 8 machine I’ve had in to fix so it’s a whole new ball of wax, interesting figuring out how to fix the issues without losing her information but it was full of crap-ware and no antivirus running for months before it got here.  No telling what was on it before I decided to do a refresh.  Every time I thought I had it all something else would pop up.  Too many fires to put out; it was time for the big guns, so I’m downloading Windows Updates right now.  I may be about done for the night though.  This will take longer than I care to stay up.  I’ve been up since 5 AM and it’s after 2 AM again; time to call “Uncle!” perhaps!  I’ll sit here a bit longer I think but it won’t get finished tonight; not enough minutes and updates are a lot of “hurry up and wait, reboot, repeat”.  Boring!!!!!!!!  I’m just about ready to give in and give up for the night.  After 21 hours my patience is thin.

On another note, I now have 2 systems dual-booting Windows 10, one also has Windows 8.1 and the other has Windows 7.  Interesting system and I’m liking Windows 10, but like Vista before it, some software I’m used to running has yet to be optimized to run on it so I’m doing a bit of troubleshooting in order to use it like I need it to run.  It’s been a fun, if frustrating at times, experience so far.  One of the good things about doing the Windows 10 preview is that this time we will get to keep it with whatever upgrades come next (and for free!!) instead of having to completely reload the entire system like we had to do with the Windows 7 preview.  I don’t feel so bad about loading it knowing that it’s not all for nothing in a few months.  Makes a big difference even if it’s only semantics.  LOL

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